Gregory
Emilio
JesseWho doesn’t like a list right? After watching a program of the top fifty 80’s songs on tv the other day, I decided that lists are 1.) Interesting and 2.) Provide opinionated people like myself a chance to say things like, “You’re right Scott. I also think Steve Perry’s ‘Oh Sherrie’ should have been much higher on the list.” Or, “Even though I enjoy Hall & Oates as much as the next person Scott, I don’t think they should be rated as high as you have them on your list.” So this section is all about lists. Enjoy!
Top 3 Interesting People I have met in Australia
#1 Jesse (The Rollin Stone Grandma)
I met Jesse while waiting on my bus at the Sterling Station. She is around 90 years old and smells a bit like beef stew. I was sittin on a bench by myself, waiting for my bus when she sits down next to me and says, “Excuuuuuuse me dear, would you be a kind bloke and lift this bench up and pull it into the sunlight.” I politely told her, “I’d love to ma’am but it’s cemented into the ground.” She smiles and says, “Not strong enough eh? That’s ok I could use some shade anyway.” Not strong enough!? Ok…not only was this thing cemented into the ground, but it would have taken the duo of Hulk Hogan and Ryan Briggs to lift this thing! She sits down and continues to tell me how I was nice and that society is no good anymore. Back when she was a girl (which happened to be 1929) people were more relaxed and living was easy. Now things are too fast and people are mean! Before I could reply she got up and began to swing at a rock on the ground with her cane, as if she was golfing. She did this for a good 50 yards!!! 10 Minutes later she comes back and says she got 4 hole in ones! Wow…I am speechless.
#2 Emilio (The Iranian power lifter who needs to invest in longer shorts)
If ‘Tool” was actually a describing word you could use on a person who was oblivious to life, then this guy would be the Master Tool. Emilio lifts at the same gym as Marcus and I, and he is quite the character. First off he is much bigger than any man should ever want to be. I’m guessin if you told him to touch his hands behind his back he would explain to you that it is impossible! Believe it or not Emilio it can be done! In fact it’s very easy. Emilio works out in very big V-Neck jerseys, and each time his shorts get an inch shorter. I’m still not sure why he doesn’t just go by normal size shorts, this guys thighs are like Chris Farley’s waste. I am in pain lookin at him because I don’t think they are getting any circulation! If he keeps it up Emilio is going to be showing off his twig and berries to the population of Perth! And I think we could all do without!
#3 Gregory (The Bus Boy)
This kid might be my favorite. I see him almost everyday because he gets on the train at Sterling as well. This picture of him says it all. He carries around a book bag that is filled with nothing but maps of bus lines and train schedules. I have seriously gone to him to ask a time on a regular basis. I think he has most of them memorized now. Gregory, as intelligent as his is, does however need to find a good dentist in town. I think he thinks receiving plaque is a good thing!
Top 3 Sayings I have heard repeatedly
#1 Scutt, get your oss to tha baseline mate!
This would be said by my coach, almost every practice. I’m still not quite sure what oss means but I’m starting to get somewhat of an idea. And believe it or not, my name doesn’t have a U in it.
#2 Yeah mate, he’s a good bloke.
Wasn’t sure what bloke was at first, in fact, I thought someone was making fun of me when I first heard this. What did you just call me?
#3 Are you keen?
This has probably been said to me ten thousand times so far! I mean I know what it means, but it has been said so much, I am starting to say it! Which annoys me more than you can imagine. Hey Marc, you keen to go get something to eat? Haha he hates it too. Usually I just say it to piss him off.
Top 3 Worst Shows on tv
#1 Larry the Lawnmower
Hands down worst show I have ever seen. So bad in fact I still watch. It’s a kids show about a lawnmower who bosses a rake, shovel, and hose around to do yard work. Not only does it suck, but Larry can be a real pain in the oss if you know what I mean!
#2 Any News channel
The news hear is not interesting, one because I feel like I have no idea what going on in the world, and two because it is so sporadic. It comes off and on throughout the day, and I don’t think there is much set up involved. You know, I’m used to seeing headlines, then weather, then sports, and maybe entertainment. Here there is zero format.
#3 Ready Steady Cook
Ok, I will agree there are some pretty good cooking shows on once in a while. I mean come on, who doesn’t like Emeral? But on this show they pick two people from the audience and pair them each up with a professional chef. Then they have a 20 minute competition on who can make a better dish with the ingredients they have. Sounds decent right? Well it would be if they didn’t have a used car salesman as the host who will not stop talking. I just wanna watch food and see what kind of things they are making…but this guy really dislikes silence! Plus he is 40 and always asks the girls if they are with anyone. Its somewhat creepy.
Top 3 Things I have seen here so far
#1 Outdoor Cinema
Very cool, very simple. In the park, at dusk, watching a great movie while its 75 degrees. Not much to it but a cool experience.
#2 The packed gymnasiums
Small gyms + lots of people = extremely loud! It’s a cool atmosphere. It’s very loud and trust me, they know who the Americans are. They are much tougher on us than our other players but afterwards they all are nice and ask plenty of questions. Home games though are the best because you don’t get any of the yelling, only loud cheering. I’m not sure who she is but I have an elder lady that has a voice like a lion! She is the only one I hear throughout the game and she seems to like saying my name…It still rings in my ear days later.
#3 Snorkeling in the Reef
The reef is better out on Rottnest Island, but we are doing that here in a couple weeks. However, snorkeling around the area is still a blast! You are surrounded by hundreds of fish while you swim in and underneath large coral rocks. The colors are unexplainable.
Receiving votes: Kangaroos on the golf course…they are all over!
Top 3 Different than in America things
#1 After each game there is an MVP giving out for a player on each team. Yes that’s right, they give an award after every game. The gift is…a 6 pack of beer! Congrats, you played well here’s a 6 pack of Corona! Its so weird. You all stand around after the game is over whether you lost or not, and the home coach gives away his game MVP’s. I don’t see Coach K putting this idea into play anytime soon!
#2 That’s what I love about Sundays…back home in good ole American Sundays are a family favorite. Church, lunch, maybe some bbq’s in the back yard. Relaxing, watching football, baseball, or a final to a major golf tournament. All the stores are shut down (besides Wal-Mart of course). Here in Australia, not so much. Sunday Session is what it is called and here is what happens. Families wake up at around 10 am, head to the beach for a surf and a picnic in the park, then hit the pubs. The only thing that is really open on Sundays are the pubs. And they are open LATE! Drinking is seriously a way of life here. It’s just different.
#3 Peeing on the wall.
Yep you heard correctly. There are very few urinals on the wall. Instead there is an entire wall that you just walk up to and pee on. It’s quite interesting and a lot easier to be honest. Then when you walk away, water trickles down the wall. Its quite clever!
Receiving votes Driving on the left side, roundabouts instead of stop signs, hardly any Mexican restaurants, and terrible haircuts. Apparently it is cool for a guy to have either a rat tail, Mohawk, and or two different colors of hair. I’m not sure why this is popular here and I don’t think I will change mine anytime soon. I’ll stick with my Larry’s Mug and Brush thank you very much!
Top 3 Interesting People I have met in Australia
#1 Jesse (The Rollin Stone Grandma)
I met Jesse while waiting on my bus at the Sterling Station. She is around 90 years old and smells a bit like beef stew. I was sittin on a bench by myself, waiting for my bus when she sits down next to me and says, “Excuuuuuuse me dear, would you be a kind bloke and lift this bench up and pull it into the sunlight.” I politely told her, “I’d love to ma’am but it’s cemented into the ground.” She smiles and says, “Not strong enough eh? That’s ok I could use some shade anyway.” Not strong enough!? Ok…not only was this thing cemented into the ground, but it would have taken the duo of Hulk Hogan and Ryan Briggs to lift this thing! She sits down and continues to tell me how I was nice and that society is no good anymore. Back when she was a girl (which happened to be 1929) people were more relaxed and living was easy. Now things are too fast and people are mean! Before I could reply she got up and began to swing at a rock on the ground with her cane, as if she was golfing. She did this for a good 50 yards!!! 10 Minutes later she comes back and says she got 4 hole in ones! Wow…I am speechless.
#2 Emilio (The Iranian power lifter who needs to invest in longer shorts)
If ‘Tool” was actually a describing word you could use on a person who was oblivious to life, then this guy would be the Master Tool. Emilio lifts at the same gym as Marcus and I, and he is quite the character. First off he is much bigger than any man should ever want to be. I’m guessin if you told him to touch his hands behind his back he would explain to you that it is impossible! Believe it or not Emilio it can be done! In fact it’s very easy. Emilio works out in very big V-Neck jerseys, and each time his shorts get an inch shorter. I’m still not sure why he doesn’t just go by normal size shorts, this guys thighs are like Chris Farley’s waste. I am in pain lookin at him because I don’t think they are getting any circulation! If he keeps it up Emilio is going to be showing off his twig and berries to the population of Perth! And I think we could all do without!
#3 Gregory (The Bus Boy)
This kid might be my favorite. I see him almost everyday because he gets on the train at Sterling as well. This picture of him says it all. He carries around a book bag that is filled with nothing but maps of bus lines and train schedules. I have seriously gone to him to ask a time on a regular basis. I think he has most of them memorized now. Gregory, as intelligent as his is, does however need to find a good dentist in town. I think he thinks receiving plaque is a good thing!
Top 3 Sayings I have heard repeatedly
#1 Scutt, get your oss to tha baseline mate!
This would be said by my coach, almost every practice. I’m still not quite sure what oss means but I’m starting to get somewhat of an idea. And believe it or not, my name doesn’t have a U in it.
#2 Yeah mate, he’s a good bloke.
Wasn’t sure what bloke was at first, in fact, I thought someone was making fun of me when I first heard this. What did you just call me?
#3 Are you keen?
This has probably been said to me ten thousand times so far! I mean I know what it means, but it has been said so much, I am starting to say it! Which annoys me more than you can imagine. Hey Marc, you keen to go get something to eat? Haha he hates it too. Usually I just say it to piss him off.
Top 3 Worst Shows on tv
#1 Larry the Lawnmower
Hands down worst show I have ever seen. So bad in fact I still watch. It’s a kids show about a lawnmower who bosses a rake, shovel, and hose around to do yard work. Not only does it suck, but Larry can be a real pain in the oss if you know what I mean!
#2 Any News channel
The news hear is not interesting, one because I feel like I have no idea what going on in the world, and two because it is so sporadic. It comes off and on throughout the day, and I don’t think there is much set up involved. You know, I’m used to seeing headlines, then weather, then sports, and maybe entertainment. Here there is zero format.
#3 Ready Steady Cook
Ok, I will agree there are some pretty good cooking shows on once in a while. I mean come on, who doesn’t like Emeral? But on this show they pick two people from the audience and pair them each up with a professional chef. Then they have a 20 minute competition on who can make a better dish with the ingredients they have. Sounds decent right? Well it would be if they didn’t have a used car salesman as the host who will not stop talking. I just wanna watch food and see what kind of things they are making…but this guy really dislikes silence! Plus he is 40 and always asks the girls if they are with anyone. Its somewhat creepy.
Top 3 Things I have seen here so far
#1 Outdoor Cinema
Very cool, very simple. In the park, at dusk, watching a great movie while its 75 degrees. Not much to it but a cool experience.
#2 The packed gymnasiums
Small gyms + lots of people = extremely loud! It’s a cool atmosphere. It’s very loud and trust me, they know who the Americans are. They are much tougher on us than our other players but afterwards they all are nice and ask plenty of questions. Home games though are the best because you don’t get any of the yelling, only loud cheering. I’m not sure who she is but I have an elder lady that has a voice like a lion! She is the only one I hear throughout the game and she seems to like saying my name…It still rings in my ear days later.
#3 Snorkeling in the Reef
The reef is better out on Rottnest Island, but we are doing that here in a couple weeks. However, snorkeling around the area is still a blast! You are surrounded by hundreds of fish while you swim in and underneath large coral rocks. The colors are unexplainable.
Receiving votes: Kangaroos on the golf course…they are all over!
Top 3 Different than in America things
#1 After each game there is an MVP giving out for a player on each team. Yes that’s right, they give an award after every game. The gift is…a 6 pack of beer! Congrats, you played well here’s a 6 pack of Corona! Its so weird. You all stand around after the game is over whether you lost or not, and the home coach gives away his game MVP’s. I don’t see Coach K putting this idea into play anytime soon!
#2 That’s what I love about Sundays…back home in good ole American Sundays are a family favorite. Church, lunch, maybe some bbq’s in the back yard. Relaxing, watching football, baseball, or a final to a major golf tournament. All the stores are shut down (besides Wal-Mart of course). Here in Australia, not so much. Sunday Session is what it is called and here is what happens. Families wake up at around 10 am, head to the beach for a surf and a picnic in the park, then hit the pubs. The only thing that is really open on Sundays are the pubs. And they are open LATE! Drinking is seriously a way of life here. It’s just different.
#3 Peeing on the wall.
Yep you heard correctly. There are very few urinals on the wall. Instead there is an entire wall that you just walk up to and pee on. It’s quite interesting and a lot easier to be honest. Then when you walk away, water trickles down the wall. Its quite clever!
Receiving votes Driving on the left side, roundabouts instead of stop signs, hardly any Mexican restaurants, and terrible haircuts. Apparently it is cool for a guy to have either a rat tail, Mohawk, and or two different colors of hair. I’m not sure why this is popular here and I don’t think I will change mine anytime soon. I’ll stick with my Larry’s Mug and Brush thank you very much!
No comments:
Post a Comment